If there was an award for mastering the are of being humble, I have realized that I am the most deserving of the award. Through reflection and conversations with friends and mentors, I have realized I have been living a life that takes humbleness to the extreme. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe in being humble. But if one take humbleness to the extreme, it can actually be one's greatest enemy. So what I am saying is....sometimes we are our greatest enemy. My good friend Leslea's favorite quote by Nelson Mandela hung on her wall throughout the time we lived together and I always read it, but I didn't connect with it until recently.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
This quote touches my heart so deeply because it gives me the power to say....Yes...I am brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Over the past couple years of my life, I have played small and like the quote says, doing that does not serve the world. I have strenuously been working on this part of myself...struggling of how to change. How do I become less humble and believe in myself, my talents, and my achievements?
Everything changed about a week ago. I kept trying to change but I knew I needed an "AHA" moment, and it came in the form of a Runner's World magazine (weird, I know). I had heard of Kara Goucher, an elite American distance runner, who happened to be on the cover of the Runner's World magazine that I recently purchased. I didn't know her story though. I read her story. Most people were probably intrigued with her success and failures, her marriage to Adam Goucher (also an elite American distance runner), or they were mesmerized by her beauty and athleticism. What struck me the most though was how her challenges were so similar to mine. Growing up as a runner she psyched herself out. She mentally lost races before she even started them. I too had this horrible problem during my running career in college, but that is not the area of my life that it hit home to. I do this in every area of my life. I psych myself out. I make myself believe that I am not good enough. I have come to find out that I am not taking pride or ownership in the abilities that God has given me. I have to believe in myself, because sometimes, no one else will. I have to have confidence in who I am and the abilities that God has given me (and we all should). This is not boasting or having a big ego. It means to believe fully in who you are and the gifts and talents that He has bestowed upon you. I have to be my biggest cheerleader!
There can be no time greater to learn this lesson in life than now. I am about to start interviewing....and who wants to hire someone who doesn't believe in their accomplishments. I challenge everyone to believe in who they are and what they are good at. We are all good at things that others aren't and it is our job to use those talents to serve a greater purpose.